Last week, I got my eyebrows done…well this post isn’t about that exactly. It’s about what I saw in the shop where I get my eyebrows done. Anyway, I got inside the shop and had to wait for quite sometime before it was my turn. So I sat down and opened up my book and read. Then I stopped. I looked around– looked at my lady cutting her customer’s hair– and then at the wall in front of me. In a plain old wooden frame, three stanzas jumped right out in front of me. Here’s what the little frame said:
Dance as if no one is watching, work as if you don’t need the money, love as if you’ve never been hurt.
I looked at those words and saw the beauty of it’s sheer simplicity. So simple, but yet so difficult for a lot of people to just simply do. As for me, they made sense…but as the old saying goes– easier said than done. Okay at least two of the three things mentioned prove to be a challenge. The first one–dance as if know one is watching– is quite simple for myself. I do it all the time. I dance in my room. I dance at clubs. I dance at the bar. I dance wherever there’s danceable music. So that one I got on lock-down. As for the second one, I’m quickly adapting to that sensibility. Yes, I have lived on paycheck to paycheck mentality. But I have experienced a layoff and to be quite frank, I still work my ass off. I did an independent project that took months…I also work on my writing–my script. But I’m not getting paid. So honestly, I can say I am definitely NOT working for the money. Soon enough though I’ll be working and getting paid. But when that time comes, I’ll still have the ethic to work not because I need to, but because I want to. Amen.
Now, it’s time to think about the last stanza: Love as if you’ve never been hurt. Now that to me is the kicker. How can I do that if all my life I have been hurt? If you’re like me and the 95 percent of people who had messed up childhoods, then you can probably relate. It’s so hard to not show your emotions or to even have emotions at all. It’s so hard to not push someone away because it’s too scary to think what may happen. Like, it’s just not worth the pain and suffering to go through a relationship so you keep at a safe distance. Or let’s say you do fall head over heels, but somewhere in the middle, you get frightened and run away. Or you argue for the sake of arguing, and the fights multiply even when the real reason behind all of it was out of pure fabrication. When it comes down to it, love is hard. However, weren’t we led to believe that love is the most amazing thing ever? That love can conquer all things. Sure it can. But you can’t do any of those good things, when you have excess baggage from past (or current) dysfunctional relationships. Yeah, I’m talking about the relationship you had with your parents or early childhood caretakers. Those were the people who really affected you at such a level that you’re still affected even in adulthood. But even when it all seems like it’s downhill from there, it can change. People change and thankfully relationships change. But until you can identify your afflictions and not run away from them but actually deal with them in a healthy way (none of that addictive behavior shit), then you can become the person that is truly free and lead a wonderful life. And with that, you can have wonderful relationships where love can truly flourish and in essence, exist. As for me, I’ve started to clean up that excess baggage and to learn how to cope and deal with certain negative emotions. I’ve been working on it for a few years now and let me tell you– it’s been a roller-coaster ride. But hey, I’ve learned a lot along the way and I can honestly say that I think I’m doing better for myself than I’ve ever done before. I figured the only time to heal is now…not in the future and definitely not in the past…but now. Let’s start helping ourselves now so eventually we can learn how to respect and love one another without all that crap from the past. Oh and we should get up and dance from time to time. That helps too, you know.
