A lot of my previous articles talked about love and heartache. Writing about them was a sort of way to release some emotion and it helped me understand the relationship and eventually heal. It took some time, yes, but it can be done. In fact I found ‘the one’/my twin flame. My husband. But before that let me share with you that I ultimately had to come to the decision that I wanted a lasting true romance where there was unconditional love and ditch the ‘whatever I can get’ mentality. I had to realize that I freakin’ was worthy and deserved those amazing relationships that only seemed but a myth. And then after that moment of clarity, I had to show what I wanted to myself. Yes, I had to learn how to love myself. See, before you could experience true love, you have to love yourself. Sounds simple but for many people including myself, it proved to be rather difficult. When you grow up not having not much of a self-esteem or had been abused in some form or another, loving yourself becomes a challenge. Hell, it doesn’t even factor in at all. I used to seek out love and really bend and twist for someone to love me. And when they liked me or “loved” me it became an obsession to keep that love, that feeling of ecstasy to flow towards me at all times. And when the partner stopped reciprocating or didn’t reciprocate in the way I wanted, then down depression road I went. In short, I became co-dependent. I needed that “love” like I needed crack. In retrospect, that wasn’t true love. Because true love consists of two whole people who overflow their own love to one another — not one siphoning affection from the other. Anyway, I read the Peter McWilliams book Love 101 to learn that the greatest love comes from you and only you. So I started doing things on my own and enjoying my own company. And the funny thing is when I finally liked doing those things, shortly after I met my husband, AND I had no intention of meeting any one that night I went out with one of my girlfriends. I guess what I’m trying to say is when you want that somebody special in your life, you can’t be desperately seeking it. You got to just be happy on your own and the universe just brings you together at the right time. Also, I had a lot of faith and I just knew that everything’s okay and I would meet him at the right time. Oh and what stood out between my husband from the rest was that my relationship with him was just easy. Caring and loving each other just came with great ease. I never was needing that love from him. It just flowed between us naturally. There is some wisdom to that old adage, “you know when you’ll know.” Trust me. There is great love for you (from you and from your soul mate)! Check out the video below b/c this I also used to get me to clarity about finding a true lasting relationship.
Archive for September, 2011
So I talked to my older sister recently. She was talking about wanting to change careers, possibly start her own business. Currently she is a registered nurse and makes very good money. However, it was never her dream to become a nurse. In fact it was our parent’s dream. My parents instilled in her the notion of pragmatism when it came to careers. “Be a nurse or be a doctor or something in the medical field because it is a sure route to making good money.” I think they said something along those lines. I for one ditched their belief and went on my own path… a creative path that has yet to see monetary rewards. Yet, I think I’m happier than her. She told me during our conversation that she didn’t really know her passion. I asked her did she still have some burning childhood desire/dream within her. She replied, “no.” Okay… “What gets you going right now and makes you excited,” I asked. No response. Wow was it really possible for someone to not have a dream?! I guess I’ve been in this entertainment town called Los Angeles far too long (b/c here everyone and I mean EVERYONE’s got a dream). After much probing, my sister did mention her fiance wanted to open up a Greek restaurant (the guy is Greek so it’s quite fitting). But then I thought isn’t that his dream? Anyway, she finally revealed that her dream is to be ridiculously rich and have a good life. Okay fair enough. And I told her: Your Dreams Are Worthy! So are everyone else’s dreams really. So going back to this idea of attaining the good life and her fiance wanting to open up a restaurant. I asked her do you know anything about running a restaurant??? Or a business? She’s a nurse so I know she can take good care of her clients 
. But seriously, if she wants to achieve her dreams she’s got to have a game plan. So that’s when I told her it’s time to take action. And I’m not saying to achieve that goal within a week. I’m talking baby steps. I told her to pick up or buy a book on running a business and/or running a restaurant. I felt she needed to start expanding her mind first because all she knows is nursing and also listening to mom and dad. See, to be a successful entrepreneur (or successful anything) you gotta have the guts, drive and resolve to go against the status quo to realize your dreams. You can dream but sooner or later you gotta take that action towards it. And again it doesn’t have to be all done by next week. One step at a time. Anyway, my sister thanked me profusely on giving her the idea to read a book on starting a business. Funny though, I would think that would be the first logical step someone would take in her position — research. And if after researching through books, magazines, or the internet you are still convinced that’s the path you should take then the I would recommend interviewing people who have made it successfully in that particular field. I have talked to many successful people in my field and it’s only inspired me and pushed me to become better at my craft and finish projects. So yeah talking to people in the field really helps motivate oneself. To find these people, you can attend seminars, panels, networking events, go though your career center at school, asking your own network for referrals, etc. The possibilities are endless. Really, if you’re serious and you put it out there and take action when the inspiration occurs, the universe will bring the right people and opportunities at you. No sweat. It’s up to you to grab them. Just remember: Your Dreams Are Worthy!!!
